Welcome to the current newsletter issue of
Advances in Medicine (AIM)- Take AIM against pain.
Feel free to send me an e-mail with your own thoughts
and experiences. Email: timsams@mypainreliefdoc.com.
* * *
HOLIDAYS AND PERSISTENT PAIN
The holiday season is a special challenge when you hurt.
Holidays can be difficult anyway as the fantasy and the reality
clang together. The fantasy - loving family, tender moments,
grateful appreciation for hard work and thoughtfulness, petty
differences put aside, people coming together united in family
or friendship. The reality - hurt feelings, lack of
appreciation, petty differences on display. Worse yet, too much
stress, too much alcohol, too many demands, too little money,
old wounds surfacing; the pain of recognizing the difference
between the Hallmark holiday and your dysfunctional family.
One way or another, holidays are immediately stressful times.
Increased physical demands, i.e., housecleaning, cooking,
grocery shopping, traveling, etc. will increase pain. The
emotional and mental aspects of holidays can also increase pain.
It is taxing to gear up emotionally to socialize with family and
friends and be charming even if you are the one being fed and
watered. Difficult interactions, avoiding landmine topics of
conversation, dealing with toxic relatives, discussing your
medical condition, etc. can all increase pain.
The holiday season is almost inevitably a time for some
reflection, looking back at the past year and forward to the
next. It is natural to become aware of all the difficult,
painful, challenging aspects of your life. When you hurt all the
time, this reflection can either cause the holiday blues or
worsen depression, especially if you compare how you wish things
were with the way they are. When you hurt, you may find yourself
focusing on the negative until it seems all there is.
What can you do to help yourself survive and even enjoy the
holidays? I have developed a list below to help you get the
most out of this holiday season.
1) Recognize that your life has changed. You have persistent
pain along with your own unique sequella - impaired finances,
troubled relationships, etc. Acknowledge that change and
organize yourself around that reality. You may need to grieve
the losses associated with these changes.
2) Lower your expectations for the holidays. Don't expect to or
commit to creating a magical time for yourself and others. Lower
your family's expectations for the holidays by discussing
necessary changes in advance. Don't let "tradition" trap you
into unhealthy behavior. Grieve this loss if need be.
3) Don't try to accomplish everything you did before you had
pain. Respect your challenges. Give yourself permission to do
less if need be.
4) Be creative about pacing yourself and setting limits with
activity. Make the holiday meal potluck. Agree to exchange a
single gift with family members or family units with a price
limit. Enlist the help of someone for meal preparation or
household chores.
5) Consider focusing on or a return to a traditional (old
fashioned) holiday in terms of gifts, trees, family visits, etc.
This allows you to focus more on family and friends and less on
material stuff.
6) Give a gift(s) to the less fortunate. Donate to a needy
family, give something to your church or temple. Donate some
time to a mission. Volunteer at a hospital or nursing home. The
saddest thing over the holidays is to feel lonely. Help someone
else not be lonely, and in the process, help yourself.
7) Make a deliberate attempt to count your blessings. Focus on
the good things in your life. Each day, post one positive thing
you are thankful for.
8) Reconcile with an estranged friend or relative.
9) Make a commitment to changing certain behaviors in the coming
year. Set specific
goals for yourself.
10) Forgive yourself or another person for a transgression.
Accept what happened and let go of the pain. Chapter 10 in
Stepping Stones: 10 Steps to Seizing Passion and Purpose can
help.
As always, your feedback is welcome as are suggestions for
future newsletter topics.
Good light,
Dr. Tim
My Pain Relief Doc
http://www.mypainreliefdoc.com
Copyright 2006. Dr. Tim Sams and My Pain Relief Doc.
All rights reserved. http://www.mypainreliefdoc.com
====================================
You may freely distribute a copy of this newsletter or
use it on your web site or RSS feed, as long as you
include the entire article, along with the web links
and copyright information. Thanks, Dr. Tim
====================================